garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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