After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
