new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize