WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
