Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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