operation have a gay friend backfired
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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