I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
