i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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