i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
