dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
