I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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