What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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