She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
