Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
