Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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