You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
