What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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