WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
