She announced her abortion via fbk
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
