As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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