Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
