I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
