There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
