we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
