I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
