so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
