Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
