So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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