I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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