At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
