so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
