why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
