im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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