You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No more Irish car bombs ever.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
