Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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