THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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