I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
