I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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