and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
