There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
