love makes seman taste better
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Bang-toberfest begins!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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