it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
