This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
