Whod you bang
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize