okay pat passed out under dana's car
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
