Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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