Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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