It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
