I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
