How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
