dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
