Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
