2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
