I'm pants shitting drunk right now
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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