I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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