I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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